Invitation Etiquette: just when you thought you understood it

Updated: Jul 22

It has taken decades to create a commonly understood, yet mostly unspoken, set of rules when it comes to wedding stationery etiquette. The logistics and formalities of save-the-dates (STD), invitations, and thank you cards haunt our dreams. To make matters worse, just when a majority of couples started getting it right, we got a pandemic. Not to say wedding stationary has a place in even the top 1 million of pandemic concerns, but it is a pain in the ass; plus this is, after all, a wedding blog.



Currently, the wedding industry is puzzled. Unlike the United States, who’s simply choosing to ignore professional guidelines, this industry stands alone in the dark. We are figuring this out as we go, trying to fit modern COVID-19 struggles into a rule book that has been decades in the making. So, what now? First and foremost, it really depends on your budget and the type of overall vibe you’re trying to project (sound familiar?). In all honesty, you would be surprised at how much your chosen tools of communication, as well as quality and quantity of that communication, affect your wedding-related image. I, for example, forgot to put essential information on our save the date; from then on, everyone knew I was going to be a trash bride. Alas, this is the new, COVID-19-is-real, wedding invitation etiquette we have created so far.

  • If you have already sent out your STD and invitations pre-COVID…

If you intend to have the same venue and menu (ie: same caterer, no seasonal food changes, etc) and you’ve already started receiving RSVPs, then we recommend keeping the solution simple and cheap. You certainly don’t need to send out formal invitations twice (though you can if you want!). We say send out an email through your online wedding website, Aisle Planner, or through your personal email account. If you are really laid back and you want everyone to know it, you could text, though that might get tedious. The younger crowd will have no issues updating their RSVPs online; however, some of your older guests may struggle. So, you’ll have to make sure everyone gets the memo; or, even better, delegate this task to someone in your wedding party - that’s why you pay them the big bucks ;)

  • If you sent out a STD pre-COVID, but not a formal invitation...

In this case, we suggest you send out an email (or text) letting people know the new date, and that a formal invitation will follow. This can either be done via your wedding website, though not every website has this feature, or AIsle Planner. If, for whatever reason, you are not ready to send out a formal invite, you can casually change the date on your wedding website. This is the easiest way to get the word out because, drum roll please, it’s literally the whole point of your wedding website! That’s right! The purpose of your wedding website is for guests to find their own answers to their questions. Will they all look? I don’t know. But someone is bound to, and hopefully that will start some type of communication chain that doesn’t include you.

  • If you haven’t sent out any STD or Invitations yet…

Then why are you reading this post? Just out of curiosity? Tell your nagging family to calm down! Pour yourself a bottle of wine, turn on the streaming service of your choosing, and try to enjoy your COVID inspired wedding lull. Do it. Quick. Before people start demanding things from you again.




Well, that is what we have to offer here. I’m sorry to say that if you are hoping to save yourself time and effort, you will not find the answer you seek in the stationary section. How many guests do you have? 150? Great. No matter your situation, you will need to have approximately 140 different personal correspondences. Yes, even if you didn’t send out a STD or invitation before COVID. Yes, even if you put the date change on your wedding website and plan to send a new formal invitation. Yes, even if you email everyone. Yes, even if you tattoo it on everyone’s forehead in their sleep.

Ok….So...good luck!


xx,

Laura


Photo Credit from top to bottom: Vanessa Lewis Photography, Metzger Studios, Zev Fisher Photography, and Harris Street Photography

Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we may receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you.

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If you're purchasing STD or invitations, don't forget to use our code at Minted Weddings, it's 'WEDPLKALEIDOSCOPEEVENTS'


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